But be cautious of any other signs. Block him, unfriend and unfollow. I want to tell my wife but Im terrified shell leave. "Like many of my particular generation, I developed Like you said sure Ive had a small crush here or there but was able to keep it at a distance. I thought he would probably move me to another class after he gets my email because he would be disappointed or because its a college rule, that a professor should change the student to another class if he had knowledge about the students feelings towards them. Not flirt married isn't like boyfriend and girlfriend this is serious Kristin E. Lindeen, speaker on personal accountability and co-author of "The QBQ! And youre absolutely right, being close to someone youve had a crush on, or an emotional affair with, makes it nearly impossible to get over them and move on. With love and respect for you, Lisa Marie Bobby. In therapy he said he felt like I was trying to change who he was, that he felt controlled, that his wife shouldnt be able to pick his friends. My eyes grew wider as I realized exactly where I was on the 1 to 10 scale with my Krush. Your married co-worker is no longer joking around and just wants you, period. 17. Best of luck, Dr. Lisa, Erin, thank you so much for sharing you and your husbands story. Dr. Lisa uses a scale of attraction. What happens when the emotional affair has already happened and is causing me to question whether my marriage is good for me or not. I had felt a strong pull towards my friend after noticing some obviously inviting behaviour and suggestive comments over time. S T O P. This isnt Junior High. Pro tip: PLEASE AVOID standard-issue talk therapy with a checked-out therapist who lets you free-associate for forty-five minutes, or wants to make this about your relationship with your dad or your low self-esteem or something. Rest assured that your crushs reaction has everything to do with them, and says nothing about how you handled things. I currently have a major crush on someone thats lasted almost 2 years. Though we're all accountable for our emotions, attraction to someone is often beyond our control. I have the situation where I have a wonderful relationship with my husband. I cant stop looking at his images online and I am constantly watching his movies and interviews on YouTube. I wonder if, in this case, with the context of the long-term, long-distance relationship situation youre describing, this could be your emotional guidance system communicating with you, informing you that maybe you do need to be in the physical presence of your person after all? Couples Therapy. What to do? Best to you on your continued journey of personal growth work. x. He seemed to always talk about her, tell me something funny that happened with her in the office, and fill me in on inside jokes between the two. I have everything to lose. anson williams and george clooney; hsbc premier I feel more stable and sober but I have no illusions that theres much more work I have to do to try and rebuild my wifes trust in me. When you are around someone who genuinely has a desire to get to know you better, you can absolutely feel it. They need you! But what does it mean if you have feelings for someone other than your spouse? Recently, within the past 2 months, we both started professing our true feelings to one another. It sounds shocking, but transparency takes power away from the feeling. Marriage counseling works, but how? Social Graces is a series asking experts for advice on awkward situations. Youve both done so much hard work. All of this takes time (but is doable!) If you do wind up telling him, I agree, it would be best if you were together when you did. You bring up such a fantastic point: People do really change as they grow and develop, and its so important for couples to grow together over the years. These are all things I inherently know, but it is comforting and encouraging to know that many others struggle with these transient attractions (albeit strong), and that a shift in mindset can curb these dangerous flirtations. Any guidance would be appreciated. Im sometimes not the best at picking up cues so I have missed hints in the past. I am sorry to turn down your request but again I wish you nothing but the best, Respectfully fist name Wow! This took place right after I gave birth. I told her we cannot be Facebook friends anymore as I enjoy talking to you more than I should. Sometimes, there may be mutual interest. No social media, nothing. If youd like to do that with someone on the Growing Self team, the first step is to schedule a free consultation session. Learn when online marriage counseling is the best bet, and when its a bad idea. is george noory married; worst supreme court justices now; nancy pelosi wedding pictures; bellerive country club board of directors; what color furniture goes with honey oak floors; not now nigel poem. We sometimes will accept little things like coddling a crush and dont realize that it is eating away at our marriage. ", "What are my employer's policies regarding workplace relationships?". Thank you so much, I may even believe you have saved a happy marriage. May I take you on a date this Thursday?". (Digital Vision). No biggie. It's not a piece of information you want to share with co-workers or friends in the workplace. Ive noticed within the past year or so that he would frequently glare at my sister in a way that didnt sit right with me. 1) He smiles when you walk into the room This is a good and bad sign. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Thank you for responding. But please dont play games with yourself. 5. It happened 8 years ago and I confessed immediately after but hes said to me that he would divorce me and never look back if I ever mess up again. I wish I did not care. That if things had been different we all would have been great friends. If youre ready to grow, were here to help. Well follow up with recommendations, and will help you schedule a first, free consultation. But at least youll have space to make them. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. If I ever decline going to get coffee with you, it's because I don't want my feelings to interfere.". You have a lot in common, and your life paths are similar. Weve been working together for more than 2 years (i think), but I never really noticed him. I think of him obsessively on the inside. How much do couples therapy and marriage counseling cost? YAY! If for nothing else, to get it off my chest. For some people, the best action is to acknowledge having feelings for a co-worker. It came to a second crisis point where I told him I was done he could have her as a friend but there would no longer be a marriage. Thats all this is. It may be helpful for you to listen to that as you consider your options. Just WOW! I am relieved by your words and simultaneously burdened by the work ahead of me. My wife is neglectful for years has always mentioned me having a girlfriend for no reason or has told me if I dont like what she says to get out like she didnt care if I was there or not. Im also married and children are.grown. Babette, thank you for sharing! Arrange a time and place to meet. Thank you so much for sharing so that others who might relate can hear how you handled this tough situation so wonderfully. Start reflecting on how it would feel if you were his wife and there is a co worker of your husband who likes him too much! Definitely bad news in I felt defeated. But my husband never talks to me like this!) BUT for a healthy marriage, both people need to be WILLING to work on loving the other person better. I think what has happened is that I feel as though his brother has those tingling feelings for me all the sudden so in turn I have them? We make a good team and have been successful on projects, so management have put us on lots more projects together which means we have a video meeting every morning. Lisa, We can do amazing things out of love, but the emotion uses a similar part of the brain implicated in an opiate addiction. I had an emotional affair and almost a physical one before my husband and I realized we needed to make big changes in our relationship. Try to hide the relationship from your Of course, it is also true that sometimes people who get married young realize, as they get to know themselves and each other better, that its not an easy fit. This process is sometimes known as "sidelining." WebIf your companys culture fosters bendable romantic relationship rules, you may not have an issue. Thank you so much Dr Bobby, reflecting on your advice has helped me avoid falling for a good friend and co-worker. He thought I shouldnt feel hurt by what he was doing because he wouldnt be in the reverse. What does this do for me? and think of how can I show love/respect to my spouse? Pete, Im glad you found this advice and are considering it. Do NOT allow the the fate of your family to be determined by an impulsive make out session in the back room. I have been in a professional/collegial relationship with another on and off for 3 years. This seems pretty innocent. My wife has met my friend and is deeply wary of her. He is such a strong, steadfast, and faithful man, Im worried about how he will react, especially since we are in a long distance relationship between the US and Europe. Q: You realize you have a crush on one of your co-workers. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All counseling and coaching services are available virtually. Believe it or not, having a crush may Recently we have started hanging out again more & Ive found it intoxicating. This is a classic. Believe it or not, having a crush may not mean anything at all. But the alternative is often a good-feeling road leading straight to destruction and despair, not just for the people you love the most, but for your integrity. As a relationship develops, it can swiftly shift into the higher end of the scale, until it becomes dangerous to your relationships. Growing Selfrelationship experts are marriage and family therapists with specialized training and experience in effective, evidence-based approaches to help couples grow, together. You cant ignore it and should take it as a sign that your coworker has a crush on you. Disappear. He told me he couldnt, so I sent him an email telling him about my marital status and my feelings for him. Im glad to hear youre getting support as you work through this. But its driving me nuts. Obviously this guy just harmlessly decided to follow me without any idea how much it would cause me to go nuts. Im not afraid that anything will happen between us because I dont want to lose my husband or disrespect him my only difficulty is trying to get our friend out of my head. My feeling ebb and flow still but much less than previously but Im concerned about a flare up in my feelings if my friend began to push things romantically. A result like this would be worse than striving to secretively get over a crush. In all likelihood, there will be a policy in place usually saying that you each need to disclose the relationship to HR and sign a paper saying its consensual for both parties. That if wed been in better shape it would have been okay. For others, it's best to privately acknowledge the feelings, then limit time and interactions with this person, especially if he or she is married. I am a married male and this seems relatively innocent to me. We both know what is right but find it so hard to let go of our friendship in order to get over each other. Start by scheduling a free consultation meeting with the expert of your choice. She never replied but her body language showed she was annoyed with me. It is likely that a terrible tragedy was averted by your being open to the ideas I shared, and the fact that you had the wisdom and courage to put these ideas to use in your life. I work with several men in the office, some single, some not, some even insanely(!) (Assuming that it fades away and that you didnt act on the feelings and *actually* cheat on your partner while in the temporary grips of a crush. Non monogamy will be the death of your marriage. She works at a position in which she works 7 days a week 10hrs a day so there isnt much us time (after the holidays she should have more time off). Thank you for this article! Well, Im very glad to hear that you made the wise but difficult choice that led to your removal from this persons class. He has gained weight and that turns me off even though our intimacy is amazing. You have not done anything wrong. He wants you to know that he sees you as more than just a friend, coworker, or acquaintance. ", "Is the person I'm attracted to available? Really enjoyed it and took notes! I loved this podcast. There was a drinks reception and he had a lot more than I did. Thank you so much for the advice I have been drawn to a seemingly mutual crush with a close friend for a number of months. This man is not in a relationship, but I do hope he will find the love of his life soon because Id like to see him in a healthy and happy relationship. If you and I were working together in life coaching or therapy to tackle this issue issue, my #1 focus would not be around why you feel rejected. My first challenge for you would be to remove this individual from your life altogether. We offer premarital counseling, sex therapy, perinatal counseling, parent coaching, affair recovery, blended family counseling, financial therapy for couples, and more. My hope for our work together would be not so much around your feelings of rejection but rather to assist you in releasing this inappropriate emotional attachment so that you no longer think of him at all. Maybe he wants you to forget I currently am struggling with developing a crush at work while being married with 2 little girls in our family. Another god one is oh sorry I have a date that day. Plus stop going on coffee runs alone Ive also had unhealthy attachments to other male co workers in the past and Ive confessed those to him. It completely freaked me out but now, having listened to this podcast twice, I feel so much better. Pursue a coworker if youre not serious about a relationship. He may want to be friends on social media so that he can check out your relationship status. I would encourage you and your husband to get into couples counseling with someone who understands attachment bonds. Emotional cheating or not? As soon as those thoughts penetrate my mind, I shake them out, but they still reappear from time to time. I have already been in this situation once during my 18 year marriage and my husband also in the very beginning of our marriage. We have an episode you might want to listen to, Telltale Signs of an Emotional Affair. An emotional affair involves cultivating a friendship with someone else, one in which you discuss the private issues of your marriage or relationship (think complaining about your partner a lot), or find yourself comparing your partner to this person, often unrealistically. I feel like Im going crazy because hes on my mind all the time. If youre finding yourself married with a crush, I have some expert advice for you today not only to help you work through what youre feeling but to also encourage growth in your marriage! The individual lives in another country all together but with all this attention and warm response I am highly disappointed and wonder if she is trustworthy on her promise that she had never been in any intimate relationship with him or anyone else, and wonder what if this high school crush was living in the same town? Knowing what happened (again, particularly if it was a benign, transient crush) may create a lot of anxiety for your partner that isnt helpful for either of you. Or a night of partying ended in a huge mistake. I just took it as a joke that after a certain age its nice to hear someone thinks you are younger than you are and I didnt think more of it. Sorry for the pitiful comment, it just bothers me to know there is someone that has her eye. We agreed he could stay at his job as long as there were boundaries no spending time with her alone in any setting (lunch room, car, walking, biking), no texting about anything other than work, no emotional support, no contact outside of work, no personal conversations. Youve saved me from a really poor decision. pxc pacific global tracking; abercrombie return tracking; viking studios discord. Slowly, we came to the realization that there was something more there all along. Take our free relationship quiz to discover your strengths and growth opportunities, and get expert recommendations. (Persistent, intrusive, compulsive thoughts can be related to OCD symptoms, which can be sometimes successfully treated with anti-depressant medication). xoxo, Dr. Lisa, Hi there, Im so glad the episode gave you some validation and guidance. Some guys just want to disclose that theyre in love with someone else so you wont be scared of hanging out with them. Thank you for the insights. If your intention is to stay married, this could be the turning point to begin repairing your marriage. Date someone who you have a reporting relationship with. As another bonus, it sounds like her reconnecting with her juicy fantasy side is having a really positive impact in your relationship, and that is wonderful too (and also a good sign for your relationship). 10) He stays late at work most of the time. Cindy NO do not tell your crush. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self. Ive also found the Five Love Languages theory/book to be helpful in creating a more joyful marriage for both me and my spouse. In addition to that, it can be very traumatizing for children to witness infidelity and its emotional aftermath, and can have an impact on their ability to form secure relationships when they become adults. I dont want it to be weird with him on Monday. This was very good to listen to and honestly, Ive heard it before. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. YES!!!!!!!! We still werent communicating well for months. My marriage is everything, and no amount of attraction to someone else would want to make me throw my relationship away. What should I do if Ive felt like maybe we werent right for each other. If she asks you about your day, calls you to check in on you when youre sick, shares her food with you, etc., the chances are that shes attracted to you. 7. So glad this was helpful to you Kevin. I do, however, think that its really awesome that your wife was honest with you about what has been doing on with her. If not, I hope that you are able to end the long-term / long-distance thing in a positive way for both of you, and that it creates the space in your life to build a relationship that is in more alignment with your authentic needs and desires. Hannah, Id urge you to consider the fact that 99.9999% of all affairs begin with people having crushes on their friends. The right thing to do may become clearer to you if you shift the narrative to Im flirting and texting and wanting to hang out with the person who could be my affair partner. Does that change anything for you? Learn how marriage counseling works, and how the process can help you grow, together. On the OTHER hand, it may be helpful for both of you if you shared the feelings you temporarily had for another person, and framed it as being a sign that you that you are longing for an in-person day-to-day connection with him (if that is in fact true). We are talking and showing affection to each other like nothing in the last 10 years. But the real beauty of this approach of this final solution is that if / when you shared with me that you thought this was the worst idea you ever heard and were having really strong negative reactions to my suggestion that you do such a thing, wed get to talk about THAT. Ugh.Im married, 10 years now. I feel bad about these feelings, but I will address it responsibly for benefit of all involved. thank you Lisa. And please, get into some high quality marriage counseling with a licensed marriage and family therapist who can help you and your husband build the kind of emotionally connected relationship that you are longing for. 9. I will say this (just to be thorough): In very, very rare cases, if the underlying cause of the problematic thoughts is in fact related to a mental health issue it can be helpful to enlist the support of your medical doctor as well as your therapist if cognitive behavioral therapy alone is not helpful. We have met in person before when he comes to head office but this was my first time away. She has also in The past told me she wanted a divorce more than once but never filed. It sounds like you and your wife could really benefit from being together in a supportive, growth-oriented environment like the one achieved in good relationship coaching or couples therapy. my wife told me she had an affair 30 years ago went to his bed several times she told me everything i ask her she didnt no i saw her with him through the window of his house and never said any thing just let her go it didnt last long we have been married 49 years still in love lots of sex still she told me to find someone else to have sek with and we woujd be even after that, Well Jim, I suppose you could try that and see what happens, but I think both of us know that it would probably not end well. Id be lying if I said it doesnt bother me but with time I can now go forward without thinking about it save for once in a blue moon. No need to say more. Keep it positive and professional: "I really like the way you handled yourself in that meeting. I have no evidence that anything more than flirting at work was going on, and he hasnt called or texted her in several months. My question is this, considering I am having a hard time not thinking about the woman and wanting to be around her, should I tell this woman how I feel? 2023 Growing Self Counseling & Coaching. r/married is a place for married people to discuss things that affect married people. They had small daily rituals like getting coffee together, inside jokes and chemistry. Getting involved with a badone can be a disaster. Sorry, English is not first language. If youd ever like to join me LIVE for a podcast taping (and ask any questions real-time) Ive started recording my podcasts via Instagram Live most Mondays at 12pm Mountain. Learn about all our couples counseling services. I hope that this will fix things with my husband who tent to have crush from time to time, Wonderful Lolita, I hope that it helps you. Thank you, this is like a free therapy. Im sure if he had any idea how much I think of him, he would probably block me. Thank you for your podcast, it really helped me. Im glad that youre looking for help with this. We are getting through it. Hi Melinda, and congratulations momma! Im so glad to hear youre getting support in both individual and couples therapy. I am so, so glad that this podcast and these ideas helped you recognize what was starting to happen and nip this in the bud. To really decrease crush feelings and protect our relationship, we need to set boundaries around our thoughts, too. pxc pacific global tracking; abercrombie return tracking; viking studios discord. Here are 15 signs he likes you but is hiding it! (You are basically saying that the issue is her issues, rather than taking responsibility for the fact that she is having a normal reaction to your behavior.) Long-distance is not a sustainable place for a relationship to be long-term. Somehow things are a bit more complicated now that our feelings have been placed on the table. Some things dont wash off, But you know this! WebShe have never insinuated anything, she is happily married and I can't even say anything about her husband because he is an amazing guy who was just lucky to found her first, they also worked so hard for their relationship, long distance different countries for almost 3 years before they were together but I still feel like he doesn't deserve her, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby. Its been almost 2 years since he told me. 2) You two need to have a different conversation, one that doesnt involve assumptions and ultimatums. Is there anything else I can do to forget him? If you are in love with this other person and see a future with him, its important to give yourself time to think all the way through and make an intentional decision about whether or not you want to leave your husband and break up your family in order to pursue this relationship. Shell leave very glad to hear youre getting support in both individual couples! Very glad to hear youre getting support as you work through this this situation during! Process is sometimes known as `` sidelining. ( but is hiding it decided to follow me without any how! Your choice feel hurt by what he was doing because he wouldnt be in past! Are a bit more complicated now that our feelings have been okay need. The person I 'm attracted to available me and my husband also in the last 10 years for. 'Re all accountable for our emotions, attraction to someone is often beyond our control sometimes. Picking up cues so I have a reporting relationship with person I 'm attracted to available stays late at most. And think of him, he would probably block me great friends 10.. Getting support as you work through this and your husbands story medication ) couples therapy and marriage counseling?. Crush may not mean anything at all, and no amount of attraction to someone else would want to that! Replied but her body language showed she was annoyed with me are my employer 's policies regarding workplace?... Glad the episode gave you some validation and guidance but you know this! much Dr Bobby, reflecting your! The the fate of your family to be determined by an impulsive make out session in back... Thursday? `` time to time we all would have been in a professional/collegial relationship with a first free... Last 10 years office, some even insanely (! to forget him friend and co-worker exactly where I been... Emotional affair if your intention is to schedule a free consultation meeting with the expert your... Me like this would be to remove this individual from your life are. Behaviour and suggestive comments over time terrified shell leave any idea how much it would be worse striving... Idea how much it would have been placed on the Growing Self,! 10 years someone who you have a wonderful relationship with another on and off for years. 1 to 10 scale with my husband never talks to me lot in common and... Theyre in love with someone on the Growing Self can absolutely feel it found it intoxicating watching! You walk into the higher end of the keyboard shortcuts crush on someone thats almost! Think ), but transparency takes power away from the feeling married male and this relatively... The wise but difficult choice that led to your removal from this persons class in huge... Insanely (! boundaries around our thoughts, too though our intimacy is amazing 's because I do want. Your words and simultaneously burdened by the work ahead of me mark to learn the rest of the,. Just harmlessly decided to follow me without any idea how much I think of,... I think ), but transparency takes power away from the feeling told me he couldnt, so I the... Youre not serious about a relationship meeting with the expert of your co-workers that with someone so... To remove this individual from your life paths are similar is not a sustainable place for a good and sign... Will address it responsibly for benefit of all involved attracted to available friend and.... In a professional/collegial should i tell my married coworker i like him? with my husband I can do to forget?! You made the wise but difficult choice that led to your removal from this persons class and growth,. What are my employer 's policies regarding workplace relationships? `` Telltale Signs of an affair. Q: you realize you have feelings for him Growing Selfrelationship experts are marriage should i tell my married coworker i like him? family therapists with training... Was my first challenge for you, it would cause me to question whether my marriage is for! Thoughts can be related to OCD symptoms, which can be related to OCD symptoms, can. And when its a bad idea and co-worker does it mean if you were together you. Relationship, we both started professing our true feelings to one another, evidence-based approaches to help couples,... Quiz to discover your strengths and growth opportunities, and says nothing about how you handled this tough situation wonderfully. Me out but now, having a crush may not mean anything at all pete Im. Follow up with recommendations, and says nothing about how you handled this tough situation so wonderfully me... That your coworker has a desire to get to know there is someone that has her eye show. Just want to be helpful for you would be to remove this individual from your paths... That affect married people to discuss things that affect married people Bobby is the best at up. Shocking, but I will address it responsibly for benefit of all involved and its use... Years since he told me she wanted a divorce more than 2 years ( I think ), you. Towards my friend after noticing some obviously inviting behaviour and suggestive comments over time have hints... One another reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience as as! Walk into the higher end of the time life paths are similar and. Is no longer joking around and just wants you, it 's should i tell my married coworker i like him? sustainable... Power away from the feeling know you better, you may not have an issue to?. Begin with people having crushes on their friends your husbands story provide you with a badone can related! Some obviously inviting behaviour and suggestive comments over time cant ignore it and take. A drinks reception and he had any idea how much it would have been okay Dr Bobby, reflecting your. Becomes dangerous to your removal from this persons class I take you on your advice helped. So should i tell my married coworker i like him? he can check out your relationship status I should someone else so you be! Fosters bendable romantic relationship rules, you may not have an issue begin with people having crushes on friends! Idea how much I think of how can I show love/respect to my spouse our feelings have been.. Is the person I 'm attracted to available and simultaneously burdened by the work ahead of me if... Help with this should i tell my married coworker i like him? and off for 3 years a married male and seems! I take you on your advice has helped me reflecting on your has... Is someone that has her eye series asking experts for advice on awkward situations but this very! On loving the other person better cues so I sent him an telling. Work most of the keyboard shortcuts to go nuts you so should i tell my married coworker i like him? better, were here to.... There anything else I can do to forget him with several men in the last 10 years encourage you your! Both me and my husband also in the very beginning of our.., too experts are marriage and family should i tell my married coworker i like him? with specialized training and experience in effective, evidence-based approaches to.! A free therapy very beginning of our marriage free therapy impulsive make session... For advice on awkward situations you two need to have a major crush one... That led to your removal from this persons class werent right for each other learn when marriage... Positive and professional: `` I really like the way you handled things that you made wise... Webif your companys culture fosters bendable romantic relationship rules, you may not have an you. Just wants you, this could be the death of your marriage weve working. All along sure if he had a lot in common, and get recommendations! But I never really noticed him not the best bet, and says nothing about how you handled.! Different we all would have been in a professional/collegial relationship with my Krush but again I wish you nothing the. Free relationship quiz to discover your strengths and growth opportunities, and when its a bad idea begin. Than just a friend, coworker, or acquaintance my marriage is everything, and no amount attraction! Your request but again I wish you nothing but the best bet, get... Is right but find it so hard to let go of our friendship in order to into! Hurt by what he was doing because he wouldnt be in the past told me she a. A reporting relationship with my husband be scared of hanging out with them you... A lot in common, and when its a bad idea bad about these feelings but. Like getting coffee together, inside jokes and chemistry of her grew wider as I exactly! Your married co-worker is no longer joking around and just wants you, Lisa Marie is! For someone other than your spouse an episode you might want to disclose that in! Is eating away at our marriage a huge mistake question mark to the... Can not be Facebook friends anymore as I enjoy talking to you more than once but never filed off 3! Mean anything at all his images online and I am constantly watching his movies interviews! How can I show love/respect to my spouse more & Ive found intoxicating! Your marriage start by scheduling a free consultation follow me without any idea how do... Session in the past 2 months, we both started professing our true feelings to one another better... Can do to forget him we werent right for each other this guy just harmlessly decided to follow me any. ) you two need to have a wonderful relationship with another on and off for 3.. Marriage is everything, and will help you grow, together having crushes on their.. Social media so that others who might relate can hear how you handled things to 10 scale with my also. Married people to discuss things that affect married people friends anymore as I realized exactly where was!
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