And I was the one at home. I have to also remind myself daily that this was for the love of God that I had this child. Let's go for a stroll! When daddy is the bored or tired of this the he conveniently disappears and I take over. That pretty much goes for any situation if he is facing both of us he goes to her. It did break my heart. You asked me specifically about whether it would be a good idea if your daughters dad would do mroe of the boring stuff with your daugther and not just you. It is an intensive period. But some times when he dropes food on the ground i yell but not straight at him i just yell for a second and then try to controle my self ,is that the reason or there is somthing else . If anything, it will harm the situation more. He hates being cuddled in my arms and the only time I manage to have him in my arms is when I am feeding him at night and ONLY because he is half asleep. He will go to Nursery without a second glance and to any family or friend without so much as a look of concern over to me. have a 7 month old baby and have been going through the same thing ever since he was born. by Margaret e Jacobsen. Pls help. It is heart-breaking, what can I do? This can make a toddler feel like mom has been taken away or even rejected. Whats more heart breaking, is my partner totally doesnt take my feelings seriously.& when i was trying hard, hell come & spoils her by taking her back to his own hands. Please help! I get up with him in the middle of the night when Im so tired I could die. You might feel really, really sad about going back to work, but you might also feel really excited. Try to stay bright and relaxed, it really WILL get better. You are so sweet and encouraging!! In the morning, can you and your daughter get dressed together before you meet the others? I am super worried about our long term relationship and bonding. Maybe I will have better luck with a second kid. I get jealous sometimes, and I wish that this was easier. Try Bottle Feeding a Drowsy Baby. When I am in the US, I try to work from home on most days so I can spend time with my children. Many babies go through periods when only one of the parents will do it can be either the mom or the dad. Finances will play a huge factor on whether you decide to go back to work from maternity leave. saying that she isnt good the way she is today. Can you please help? I loved my baby boy the minute I saw the ultrasound. What can i do to get my daughter back? I seem unable to comfort her, when I hold her she pushes me away violently and will not settle for me at all. I would give up my job in an instant if I could but we simply cannot afford to do this as we also look after my father-in-law and every penny is needed. My youngest daughter is almost 2 years old. Please help! From the day he was born (and Im his birth mother for heavens sake!) I am not defending what the babys mom did. How could she not with the kind of devotion you show, despite doing it alone most of the time. What should I do Please help. A fantastic book to start thinking about how to raise a child is Your Competent Child by Jesper Juul. If she can sense a tension whenever she is happy to be with dad, it might rather push her away further from you. hi, im a mom and i have a problem with my son 17 months oldthat when he gets hurt or fall down and starts to cry he doesnt come to me ,he wants anyone but me .if his dady was available he wants to go to him even if another strange person was available he goes to him and leave me when i try to hold him. And Im 14!! there babys there used to those that give them there needs and time and attention Im going on my 3rd baby and what i find affective is how the care provider response when you get there Im always excited and hug and kiss daddy when he is home and thats how my children respond they love daddy but when they want or need something its always mommy and believe me some time i want it to be daddy, MY YEAR OLD DAUGHTER PREFERS ANYONE BUT ME, EVEN THO I BREAST FEED, AND DO EVERYTHING FOR HER IN GENERAL, I TRY NO TO SPOIL HER BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONLY DAUGHTER, GRAND DAUGHTER, NICE AND SO ON I NEVER HAD A POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION SO IT CANT BE THATIM LAID OFF SO IM WITH HER 24/7 NO ONE HAS EVER BABY SET HER I DONT HAVE MY PARENTS NEAR OR ANY FAMILY, BUT MY HUSBAND FAMILY COME OVER AROUND TWICE A WEEK I ALWAYS WANTED HER TO BE OPEN WITH PEOPLE AND NOT TO BE SHY SO I THAGTH HER TO LOVE EVERY ONE ESPECIALLY HER GRANDMOTHER BUT NOW I THINK I DID MISTAKE WITH THAT BECAUSE IT SEEMS THAT SHE DOESNT LOVE ME ANY MORE :( IS DEPRESSING ME NOW PLEASE HELP ME..IAM OPEN TO ANY ADVICES THANK YOU. First, talk to your mom about how you feel. Around 12 weeks or so, speak with your boss about the details of your maternity leave. It might happen out of the blue, after a new baby, or even while you're pregnant. Just 15 minutes of fun interaction. i feel so alone and depressed. If your wife would show photos with you holding your girls and let the songs play at bedtime, for example, it could be a warm way for them to keep you in mind while you are not around. Before we know it they are even out of the house. His Aunt told me its just a novelty for him. They simply need this period of increased closeness to gain new courage. We are all in the same boat, and seems what I thought was my bad parenting somehow. Time spent together is with no doubt also very important, but above all, continue to show your daughter how much you love her. Face the baby outward in the baby carrier where she can see and become distracted. But the bond has never come (she is 5 now) I find it hard to love her, probs have more to do with me because I got pregnant again and sort of gave up on her im sorry to say, when my son was born he loved me the best and always wanted me, and she rejected me over and over. When I first began reading these comments most were talking about their 6 to 8 months old infants. Read on for tips on how to make it work for you and your baby. I cant quite remember if this started at around the same time but she no longer wants to be with me she will reach out for anyone else who is around, and this is really upsetting for me. You sound like a fabulous mom. I have recently returned to work and have put her in a nursery 3 mornings a week in the afternoons on these days she goes to either grandmas and then I collect her on the 3rd day. I am considering changing our living situation for various reasons but namely to see if it makes a difference with my relationship with my son. To all that have posted their thoughts in regards to what I felt was complete rejection. Before Baby Comes. Do I spend too much time with her? Your daghter is still so young, just one year old. She really doesnt like me and its getting worse. they dun even let me held my gal after my day of wrk. I never had this difficulty with my older two children (now 6 and 3) and they both deeply love me and enjoy my company (even though I am the disciplinarian). Adjusting to this new life will take time and you can't expect to nail it right out of the gate. With planning, you can meet your breastfeeding goals while at work or school. Going by the earlier posts, my problem is likely due to my travel job. I feel to so down at the min that Ive been thinking of running away and letting him have the kids while I start again somewhere else, they never want me anyways so doubt they would miss me (my son is now 4). Im in need of some help here. Here's what we tried, and what finally worked! What a painful situation you are in! I guess it is so devastating, her rejection of me because there is no one else in the world that I love more than her. thanks again! Assess your breastfeeding status If your baby is just a few weeks old and you must return to work, you may feel breastfeeding is not yet well established. He does, I know. it was really a funny yet a touching experience for us. My mum never praised me or said how pretty I looked even now, after a long holiday she said not even giving me a proper hug or kiss your hot. At least I say to my baby boy that I love him that am proud of him. I am glad I am not the only mother that felt that way when my baby is with his grandmother it feels likes that he doesnt need me and sometimes I feel like crying can someone tell me how to end this nightmare. I have an 8-month-old little girl and she does the same thing to me! Many parents do just the opposite, scheduling an early afternoon nap so that baby will go to bed early, leaving more couple-time in the evening. I found the update posts from those parents who were in this situation and came out the other side especially helpful. I have just put my 8 mth old to bed and was going to come into my room and cry I went back to work 3 wks ago and he has been ill on and off this week. And do things together all of you. I was a stay at home mom with my girl for the first nine monthsand from the beginning daddys always been better with her. I am depressed. Understand your employer's leave policy, if you qualify for FMLA, and if any state or local laws impact parental leave. I work the whole day so hard for my daughter. so that she wont see me as a monster trying to take her away? i feeed her ok but after a feed she now just turns over away from me. I am really glad to see that I am not the only one with this problem. A boy and a girl. I have an 8 month old daughter. Lots of quiet, cuddly games with your little one on your lap. I've tried Philips avent, pigeon and now using hegen. Im going back to work next month so I started bottle fed baby at 2.5 mo 3 weeks ago. In any event, what helped me was to actively and often affirm to myself that I am a GOOD mother. Which just doesnt help at all! Step 1: Bring the nipple (no bottle attached) to the baby's mouth and rub it along the baby's gums and inner cheeks, allowing the baby to get used to the feeling and texture of the nipple. Its been in the past few weeks that I have noticed that my almost year old son basically forgets that Im here when my husband or my mother walks in the door. May I ask how your relationship is when dad is not around? Mom gets into the bathtub, full of warm (not hot) water with baby. I think there are two things you should do. knowing or hoping that there is an end in sight gives me great joy. And as much as possible, have your wife join in. Fight for your baby. Here are three women on how they felt: Mom 1 shared that during the first pregnancy, she stayed at home for the first nine months. When I drop her off at daycare she doesnt look twice. she would change his clothes without asking me and constantly hold him all day, the past few months all he wants is her he reaches out whenever he sees her or will start crying if i dont give him 2 her. Hi me too but my baby is only 4 months old. How can you respond when he's overly attached to one parent? And being the preferred parent often mean bouts of guilt (like you feel), exhaustion (because you never get to rest) and trying to be supportive to the other parent. Parenthood is a great opportunity for personal development! When my baby girl ws born 10 months ago, she just fell in love at first sight wt her dad. In most cases, mothers return to work as soon as their child is about 5-6 years old. 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