Right on! The mother making the video had every right to vent and talk it out. Every single day for nearly the last decade we have been: hit, kicked, punched, screamed at, injured, and drained (emotionally, physically, mentally and financially). Theres no hidden child underneath the Autism. I want my children to have as easy ride as possible through life but, when you find out that your precious child is going to have to overcome obstacles, its hard to come to terms with. I accept my son fully for his differences, but sharing our stories gives others a glimpse into our life, and can encourage policy makers to fund programs for the disabled. It is okay to casually let your child know that a stim looks odd. Ive been to restaurants and Ive seen autistic kids but they never acted out autistically and if they did the world is forgiving. Its real and its raw. I struggle socially, have meltdowns, struggle with squalor, sensory overload, dyspraxia etc. dont compare. My son is 15, weighs 175 pounds, and is 64. Shes an outstanding mother and is quite blunt about a side of autism not everyone knows. Just hold tight. This can help you learn more about their sensitivities. Its been 4 years since my oldest was diagnosed and almost 2 years since my middle baby was diagnosed, and Ive better educated myself on how to best accommodate thier needs. My husband disappeared into his work, and I had another child who needed me as well. Serious sleep problems. She will help you so much!! See if your child can handle eating gummy vitamins if their diet is very limited. I truly do hope that you are going to therapy and again I am saying this with respect for a fellow woman and mother. If your children had actual decent parents that loved and helped them (rather than demonized them or whined to the internet to get asspats and attention), they wouldnt act out. The first time I was hospitalized for suicide, I was eighteen years old. His own family? Try to be consistent as best as you can. agree, 100%. Please know that he must feel the disappointment and resentment radiating off of you- no matter how verbal he is. YES! Would you cry in your car about how your childs future is terrible because it isnt what you wanted? If you want something, why don't you talk to me or type me a message about it?" 3. I dont work, i dont drive, i shower once in a blue moon and im happy. If she were calm and clear headed, she likely wouldnt have posted it. Im doing handstands trying to parent, and I am so fearful of being judged or shouted down when I meltdown. Luna Rose leads wikiHow's Autism Project. Functioning labels are necessary to differentiate between people on different areas of the spectrum so they can get their needs appropriately met. However, we should also 100% respect the battle fatigue that parents of children on the spectrum face from caring for their child in an NT world. 217K subscribers in the autism community. Nasty woman. As an autistic adult I totally agree with some of the things youre saying. And well, an apple that falls far from the tree is quite a rare thing Poor children, and poor pets. Do I love my kid? The struggle and frustrations need to be shared and spoken about, but not online for the whole world. Still dressing and brushing teeth and feeding adult children that have no adaptive skills. When the world is spinning around you, pause and look within yourself taking note of your emotions and bodily sensations. You are not the autistic person mothers grieve for anyway What an horrendous person you are, I bet youre an abusive parent. I feel really bad for him, youre disgusting. Obviously the woman was overwhelmed. You mean high and low masking. To re a firm that just because i have break downs and the cold reality of raising a disabled child doesnt look like the made up fairy tale people try to sell you online, does not mean im a horrible mother or bad person. It is time to make the hard parts of autism something that everyone can see. Theres also asking for advice which, again, shouldnt be mixed with venting on a public forum. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 68,833 times. She shouldnt have posted a video about it, but you shouldnt be judging her. Life will chew you up and spit you out and the more issues you personally have the harder it will become to handle life at its worst. Selfrighteous fat piece of shit, how dare you. If youve never raised a severely autistic learning disabled child then you have no right to chastine parents who have. You can express these things without traumatizing your child. it is indeed a big deal trying to raise and educate them. Develop the tech skills you need for work and life. but presumably because they can't handle him. I feel suicidal some days. If you divide my day each student would be entiled to 1.30 mins one on one time. Were all different. Smh stop living in a pc fantasy world about true disabilities and stop trying to silence those that are raw and real about real life. No ones perfect, this thread sure as heck isnt. Thats private information, and no parent to a NT child would ever do that. Parents complain about all their kids at any given time, even the ones who dont have issues. I understand that autism is not always sunshine and rainbows. I had to quit working because there was no one willing to take care of him once he got older. For example, a child who hits their own head may be experiencing pain from a toothache or lice. Thank you for writing this. Thats how this mom of autistic feels and dont judge cuz we each have a path thats different from each others. Its a very wide playing field with Autism, theres no right or wrong way to cope [barring abusive extremes, and no, I dont think this was abusive, I think this was desperation, and I think this sort of response is what makes many parents feel so alone and silenced, but I also understand why the author wrote this]. During these stories, appreciate what your child is trying to convey, and ask a question or two if you want to understand better. I have neurological conditions myself and have even had several brain surgeries. Likewise, you learn that to vent to certain sources doesnt help. Other Sections Tips and Warnings Related Articles References Co-authored by Luna Rose Last Updated: March 29, 2022 References A common symptom of autism, btw; weve spent countless hours trying to TEACH empathy and it is very hard to teach. The way I understand it, what this blog is saying is not to use platforms that are so public the whole world will get to see it. Its the broadcasting of something private to her and her son. Shame on you for trying to shame another autism mum. Im heartbroken for the years unnecessary pain for all of us but we are so good now! No respite or help. Heres one for YOU, please stop Blogging YOUR Bullshit. You had the ability to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and write this, but our children will never even write or learn anything but basic life skills. far more than a typical child. This was so clearly written by the parent of a high functioning autistic child. And he will outlive me. They might one day, no one knows your autistic childs future. If a child is being aggressive right now, here is how you can de-escalate and avoid being hurt. Censorship would be to try to take it down, removed from wherever it is. Thank you for such a thoughtful resource and such great ideas. A video complaining of your child is a bad way to get the attention the mother obviously needs. My son is profoundly autistic and has been through unimaginable struggles. Frustration. And yes you can shove youre gross harmful opinions back up you ass, because I grieved I did, when the drs told me my baby will never know langue, he will never call me mommy, he will not love another, he will not Mary, there will be no dances or seeing him do normal things like draw or sort Its devastating its the loss of all original hopes and dreams you had for the baby you carried for months. No one is. Implementing a new routine can be difficult, so be patient. Talk about kicking people when they are down. I hurt for you. Because those of us with disabled children fear so fucking much. We talk about the things the HIGH functioning authkr.doesnt understand-tell me that if I vent about my son fecal smearing, would it be overreacting to vent and talk about it and share? This may occur in children with autism along with many other symptoms that point to autism . I know it takes some of us a long time to connect with Actually Autistic community and by then you may have already gone down a path of trying to fix your child, and hating autism. Im sorry, maybe your autistic kid is manageable. The truth is this isnt always possible. My toddler doesnt eat on his own, he can not speak, he is violent, he screams as a form of communication, he likes to eat his poop, he bites and pinches and everything sets off a melt down. I post all the time about my sons destructive and aggressive tendencies. If the problem is about the other parents reactions, the rest about how no one else cares about your child doesnt need to be said. AND YES HER CHILDS AUTISM DOES MAKE HER LIFE HARD. This feels incredibly frustrating, and your child may act out. That being able to string sentences together means the autism is easy (or indeed that its not even autism as stated further back in this thread by someone). Cant wait to see your list ten years from now, when reality has set in. Sorry, if your child has an intellectual disability, thats NOT autism. Even if I tired too there is not enough time to plan lesson for every child like that, and some days after having a child have a melt down and everything else you had to do after teaching all day without a break you dont have the mental enegery left to spend hour to spend thinking of how Jonny would do better if I could link this concept to his interests in sea life. Bruises, cuts, and bites and scratches from meltdowns that cant be controlled (injuries on both yourself and the ASD child and sometimes siblings). Dont you think if he could change anything that he would? Support ad love instead of judging and pointing fingers. Being attacked by your own child. Im the one manipulating people for the extra support (when in reality I realized I literally have two separate Dyslexias, and could have used the help in reading and writing by middle school, especially with notes, because I cant keep up with anybody in that bullshit.). At least everyone else here has direct experience with autism (they have a child with autism or are on the spectrum themselves). Parenting must be hard at times (again not only parenting an autistic child). Learn the difference. I would suggest that the apparent lack of empathy is simply an autistic person being wired so differently they find it hard to relate to the needs and expectations of a Neurotypical person. You are causing harm publishing ridiculous articles such as this. Sensitive to the way her clothes felt from a very early age, potty trained before 2 because she didn't like diapers, couldn't wear socks, underwear, tags on clothes, or jeans due to the way they felt. Sometimes youre struggling and you really just need to vent or youre going to explode. The reason your son acts this was is NOT because of autism, its because he has a worthless sake of shit like you for an egg donor. "Found things that I can continue doing and those I can eliminate that aren't helping her. Assume that your child is struggling, not intentionally misbehaving. You dare nudge others while sitting on your throne of high functioning autism. This is the most ass backwards post Ive ever read. make sure you talk to them about how to handle the situation. My son was disagnosed at age 3 in 1991 at the Einstein Center in the Bronx when the prerequisite for being considered autistc was being so profoundly withdrawn into your own world you didnt relate, react or respnd to anythingor if you did it was insanely appropriate.They have stretched that diagnoses out to the point where people who can have perfectly back and forth conversations, drive cars, have jobs, go to college, marryare autistic, leading advocates and polititians to assumeautismthose special little genious snowflakes who are great in math,right?thats one reason services are so tough to come by.Were no longer allowed to say.my child is half retarded and half insane, and the only time I get a break is when hes asleep.Im always amazed when people want autistics to stand up and talk about themselves.huh??? Poor children i can 't handle my autistic child anymore and i had to quit working because there was no one your. 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